Sunday, 13 January 2008


Joking as a healing herb

1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapping.

2. You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.

3.More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies.

4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the baby walker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels. (Gocool, body shop, Sweet heart, African pride....)

6. You have almost always carry overweight baggage when travelling by plane.

7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible. (sugar,soap, rice,cooking fat etc etc during old good days)

8. All children have annoying nicknames.

9. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. ( uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbour) have camped at home

10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.

12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially beepers).

13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight

14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provide because the first month is free. (I know some people O!.....)

15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes,staple machine, rubber bands, office pins, punch machine, cello tapes, post-its,etc. )

16. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

Let us strive to change these negativities.

Kola Akande lives in Manchester, United Kingdom


osoba said...

A true Nigerian,
I am surprise at the write up of this our brother about Nigerians, l believe with no doubt that this so called true Nigerian is surely breaking all those statement about the mentality of Nigerians.
I will advice my brother to check himself first before checking on others.As he forgetten that the oyinbo land that he claims to be living also has some norms and cultures that are negative but they look at the positive side of it.
Or as he also forgotten that what makes a lion to be fierce is not that he sees you but rather he is hungary or you are attacking him. Nigerians may have that negativites but who made them to be like that, were they like this 30-40 years ago, l think the answer is no. let us see what we can do to develop ourselve and not decrease our personality all in the name of a true nigerian.
My question is this to him "Is he really a true nigerian himself " if yes why not stay in nigeria to develop her with your knowledge.True Nigerian indeed.

Engr Osoba Daniel Mobolaji

Anonymous said...

Though I am not holding for the writer, I think he is only cracking jokes about Nigerians including himself. In this season of cholera in our polity, the healing herb may in fact, be our ability to joke about ourselves.

osoba said...

Possibly l misuderstood him, l thought he was saying something else , l did not know it was a joke. Then l will take it to be a joke and use it.

Engr Osoba Daniel Mobolaji

Anonymous said...

I am a German married to a Yoruba from Ondo State. Yes, nobody collects more birrows than him. Yes his suitcase(s) are over loaded - always. He feels like a dead person without a credit on his telephone card. He got sick when the telephone was spoiled for one day. Yes he is a pure Nigerian. Our daughter hates shopping with daddy because of oversized trousers to fit oversized shirts, that a boy can heritage one day. Still I love him for he tolerates my pure German and Bavarian crazy behaviors. Tolerance is the key to love. Mickey