Monday, 5 May 2008

Hungarian Lady Who Keeps An Eye on Africans

By Hakeem Babalola

Her name is Adrienn
Nyisztor but prefers to be called Adri. She is a 23-year-old International Communication graduate whose immediate plan is to make documentary film about Africans living in Hungary. Adri passionately believes she has enough experience including personal ones for such project which is expected to come out before the end of this year.
Click to read story


Anonymous said...

That was a good interview you had with that lady , sir. But l think she has a myopic view about Africa and Africans livivng in Hungary. I am not sure she has thought of the negatives and the big lies Hungarians living in Africa are giving those poor Africans there. Just because she was into a relationship and it did not work out that is a passport to condemn others. I can see that she is the kind that will be bossy or over protective. She is very lucky that am not single, she is the type l love to re- orientate and reshape to suit the African taste and style.
What is wrong in copying Afro Americans, are we not from the same root? What about Hungarians are they not copy cats? Do they really have roots , oh l forgot, they are from Mongolia.
A word of advice , she should sit down and concentrate on her masters degree or if she is not think of that yet then she sticks to her columbia boyfriend and try to start a home before it will be too late for her. l bet her by then no Hungarian man will go for her . She better make hays whiles the sun shines

Adri said...

Dear anonymous...

I can see you are that type of person that will send out "wise advice" to people to keep but you are too "humble" to reveal your identity. I prefer fair play though... I did reveal my full identity in order to help a co-worker (Hakeem) and I did accept the possibility anonymous people and hypocrats will throw dirt on me.

First of all, honestly, I do not really care what other people think but I just cannot accept this kind of disrespect and sarcasm that shouts out of your comment. Why? Because you do not know a thing about me. I do not even know your name but you claim I am the type that would be bossy and overprotective...How did you get to this conclusion? I would be interested to know...I had a relationship with someone who did not treat me the way I needed or wanted to be treated, so I let him go. Whatever dirty deeds were revealed to me after our break-up, just made me feel stupid enough and angry. Unfortunately, it was written in the sky with capital letters, I was just too blind to see. And so what? There are plenty of people on this planet that are the same. Aren't you ashamed of them or are they the people you are friends with?

About your offer to re-orientate and reshape me, well, thank you very much but I do not need any re-orientation or reshaping to ANY taste. I believe if two people are meant together, none and all of them has to adapt.

Roots...Be careful with this idea because I bet Afro-Americans would not like you. Not too many of them would be glad to remember their "roots"...let alone be able to remember them. They mostly consider themselves true Americans and they do struggle to be equal in the US society. They have their own culture, so do not come with that example if you consider yourself educated. Thank you!

About Hungarians I would not like to talk too much. I am a pretty big defender and accuser of this nation, my own. I would only like to draw your attention to the fact it is the country that probably gives YOU and YOUR friends, family shelter, food and work. It offers you more than you would have EVER been able to get in your home country. So please be so kind and appreciate it. If you think we are not good enough for your taste, find another one that suits more your way of thinking and living. The doors are WIDE open. Do you think ANY countries want immigrants? Whoever you are, you are never welcome anywhere. But there is a great difference between countries. Some may not even let you in, some do not give you jobs, some even let you completely integrate. I think Hungary is among those ones that can face challenges of letting people in. Oh and FYI we are definitely NOT from Mongolia...MAYBE we used to live in that area or rather NOT because originally our ancestors lived in present day RUSSIA. If you want to argue, please BE better-prepared. Thank you! But if you want to hurt me with history, let me remind you about the fact that "Black Africa" has never been among the best-developed continents. I am so sorry about the colonization but without the bloody British and French, Africans still would not know where Europe is...let alone come here.

There are two sides of every story so if you start critisizing someone, PLEASE see the story from both points of view. I understand you want to defend your fellow Africans from being ignored or hated but why is that? From your comment I could feel that after a relationship with an African and a Colombian no Hungarian men would marry me. Why is that? Aren't we so damn equal? With this one sentence in a funny way you say it is a shame to be in love with an African or a Colombian. Really? So you want to say there is a difference among people according to the COLOR or NATIONALITY? Isn't it a little racist my dear anonymous?? I do not think people should look down on me because I had a bad relationship with a man or because I have an excellent one with another one. In fact, EVERYONE adores my boyfriend and you know why? Not because he is from a different country but because he works HARD to get his degree and to succeed in life. He does not ask for unreturned favors or beg for money. He is from a 3rd world country and yet he can manage here. He does not need to get married in order to get citizenship and I think many of your fellows should learn a lesson from him.

All in all, you and I are from VERY different cultures and I do not think we can EVER get to an agreement. I just would like you to reshape your tongue and give less of ugly and unnecessary comments into this debate. My privacy is MY privacy so if you have an issue to discuss, I am always ready for a fair discussion but I am disgusted by this arrogant and pretty stupid comment you just put down here.

I do not condemn other Africans or blame the dirt of one person on them. I am lucky to be friends with some VERY precious and caring Africans and I am pretty proud of knowing them. They are rare diamonds here on this planet and I will always defend and support them whenever they need me. And I always have their backs too. I am not the only one that thinks SOME of your fellow "brothers" will completely ruin the reputation of African people coming here for a better life. I am sorry I met these ones first because I am sure this story could have ended in a very different way. But what I have learnt from all this is that there are people and cultures that cannot suit and if it does not work, noone should force it to work. I am happy to see African or African-Hungarian couples living in honesty and harmony but I am not envious of them at all. I have my own place and even if you attack me with hurting thoughts, I know I am on the right track.

Have a wonderful day,

Anonymous said...

On the right track, you think so? I doubt that. Since you never wanted any criticism then you should have thought it twice before concluding on Africans living in Hungary.
About been bossy and overprotective, is it not true? you Hungarian ladies lord over your men but since our dear African guy knows where he is from he refused to give you what you wanted and that made you to kick his ass. From the tone of your interview it showed that you wanted to be his boss. l know that Hungrian ladies are the head of thier homes but my dear Adri, this does not apply to Africans , even the so called colombian friend you've got , the relationship will soon bust into pieces because of your attitude , l can assure you that. He will surely have African roots in him .

Roots, you think they African Americans do not appreciate that they are Africans? then why do they use the word African Americans, you forgot that ehh. l can see how limited is you knowledge in the course you studied. l am not surprised.You think they don't want to know where they are from , they do for your information. You claimed that you are from Russia are you sure? where in particular , you dont really know you believe its some where there, you see , you dont know your root.

Yes , am living in your country, but have you thought of the impact of your citizens in my country , how they have stolen and rubbed my country , they do not pay taxes and they work illegally there too. here l am contributing positively to your economy, not defrauding it. you think a country without immigrant will survive? why are Hungarians on the rush to America? is it not for a better life? you said the British colonise us , yes they did, to defruad us , was it not? they should have left us if we wont think a black person is inferior , thats the problem but you are wrong . l did not study in Europe but l am working with my certificate here in Hungary , can you see that with your education here you are still like an educated illiterate.

Once again , l will give you a piece of advice . Make Hays while the sun shines .Before it is too late ,you can still be re-orientated and reshape if you are ready to learn.

On the last note , As for my brother Achie, you better take his advice and think more on what he has told you, you know the truth may be bitter but after, it will be sweet. Study Africans more for you to know us
l do not give pepole that l know are of less value my identity.

Adri said...

Honestly I never bothered to read what came out of the interview because I knew what I had said and I never felt ashamed of what I thought. After your comments, I became interested in what exactly it was said there and I got pretty sad how different it sounded.

Frankly, I am also deeply sorry for starting this whole project because my aim was to show people how respectful some Africans are and that they should not be treated the way they are. After reading your arguements, I can see why you are defending your own brothers, however, I have lost my belief that I should really care about the reputation of the respectful educated Africans at all. I am not interested in Africans let alone try to get to know them better. I was always open to understanding different cultures but I got to learn not everybody is like me.

I won't start to defend my points because we are NOT watching the same movie... you interpret whatever you want from my words and I think it is a pity to communicate with someone that does not care to listen.

About the colonization...It is true that I blame most of the problems in Africa on the British and the French, however, without the colonization you would probably still be without electricity, normal roads or anything a "modern" place has. You may live more happily, I cannot argue with that, but you should not forget that the reason why you can now live in Hungary, Great Britain or any other places in the world is because those people gave you a chance. Not mentioning the amount of help your continent gets day by day from different organizations. There are always two sides of every story! I admit you have suffered a lot throughout the centuries but it is now up to you what you do with your freedom and if Africa were such a good place, noone would like to leave it. It is always easier to run away than to face the problems. Hungary has been having serious economic problems recently YET I'm still here unlike thousands of my fellows.

Again, clearing my point 100%...I do NOT wish to reshape to ANY taste or style...especially not to the African taste. Whatever you got out of Hakeem's words, I do respect your nation from a certain distance. I do not think it is bad not to seek any African company. I know you will never understand why a European educated woman does not want to feel humiliated and left out of the decisions because you are not Hungarian. You do not know any other way. I am sure an African woman could put more to this debate but for some reasons they are not present here. It is not about being bossy, it is about being EQUAL. Unfortunately, you only know this word when it comes to your rights...not your responsibilities.

Thanks for your advice again, by the way. I have taken my chance to get over the past and start something new. The reason why I am still here is because your tone of writing always reminds me about why I wanted to put some of my African friends behind. My ex had a saying and despite of the fact his IQ can't reach the 3-digit numbers it is very wise: "Never trust anyone, not even your own mother because you will go to the grave alone." All I wanted to have good friends. These "good" friends made me realize I could never be a friend of an African guy. It is about hormones. Or culture. I learnt the lesson the hard way and now I am happy where I am.

If you want to help me with the documentary, I would be more than happy. Help, not critism. I know it is always better to dig deep into someone's private life but I think my opinion and documentary on Africans living here in Hungary ARE not strictly connected to my private life so if I may ask,leave it alone...Who knows who you are...You are too coward to reveal your identity so please do not preach from above but come down to the earth and take the responsibility for your words!

Actually I have a bitter taste in my mouth because of this interview. I wish I could rewrite it on my own to be accurate about what I really think. But anyway, I am sure it happened because Hakeem wanted to emphasize my points.

Anyway, best luck with your things on here and in the real life. Please understand I am not here to bargain on opinions. I am not afraid of critizism but I refuse to accept accusations without any base or wicked comments that are blown to the air.

They say birds of a feather flock together...I have a different feather.

Anonymous said...

l can see quite well now that you really have a myopic view of things and from your analysis of things you dont do your research and findings well before you conclude. No wonder you intend to dive into something you really do not know about, writing a documentary about Africans living in Hungary without knowing those you want to write about. l would have helped you but its a pity l dont help educated self centered illiterates and those that believe their culture or the so called colonisation is better than ours.

Yes , it was true the whites or should l called them yellow people because l cannot actually see if they are really white , since the color of white l know is not that kind , oh forgive , my colonial master or mistress told me so.

What is colonisation , do you think that going on the street naked without wearing anything on is being modern? Or is it the way you talk to your parents without regard or respect, or is it the unculture behaviors you all put on. Am not surprised that you are among those that believe Africans are living on trees, l want to accept that it is true since your diplomats are also living on the same trees in Africa they were posted to .

You believe we had nothing of our own , You people cheated us not that we were not self reliant but you (so called whites )taught us how to cheat and to lie . As for coming to your country or going over to Britain, yes we will continue to migrate over until whites are sorry for what they did to the black race which you are part, at least your fore fathers.

You dare want to write about a nation , a continent yet you said , l quote

"I have lost my belief that I should really care about the reputation of the respectful educated Africans at all. I am not interested in Africans let alone try to get to know them better"

then why would you want to do a documentary on people you really dont care about . Or you want to send AID to Africa since that is what you said we receive every day or you also want to make money just like the many NGOS in Hungary. you see how naive you have been . we receive AID in return for our natural resources, our Agricultural food,and of course TRADE . They show to the whole world that they are helping Africans through AID, BUT THE TRUTH IS for their benefit. All your Food has been tampered with , all your atmosphere is polluted, you are looking for a save haven, Africa , the colonised continent is your target, your MARS program to space failed you need another planet or another place much cleaner , beautiful , and save but you rather prefer to down grade it so that you people can get into it , what a shame on you whites , is that modernisation? Please sell it to someone else , am not buying it .

In conclusion, take my advice and face the future seriously if not you will be depressed and you may think that everything is against you , you know Hungary has the highest depression rate in the world, so better face it now when you are still young.
Also you said birds of the same feather flocks together , yes its true and you are not different . You have the same feather.